A CIRCLE FOR CATHARSIS
Introduction:
One
of my near and dear once spent an hour in a therapist’s office kicking an
innocent throw pillow around the room and screaming out rage at his abusive
father. At the end of the hour, he had a broken foot -- and the first
beginnings of a healed mind.
But
we have learned that magic works through symbols. Calling an object by your
abuser’s name and then abusing that object is sympathetic magic used for the
purpose of cursing. To throw a curse is to project one’s worst feelings out
into the world of form, and to invoke upon oneself the inevitable karmic
feedback.
It
is not our way to blast the crops and sour the milk. Wiccan tradition and plain
common sense both tell us to avoid the practice of baneful magic. But, as
usual, it’s not quite as easy as just saying no.
Rape
and child abuse, loved ones killed by muggers or drunk drivers, emotional
manipulation and betrayal, economic exploitation and dishonest office politics
- people hurt and victimize other people in many different ways every day. We
are not immune.
At
some point in our lives, probably every single one of us will feel violated by
some other human being. Often our feelings will be based in fact. Whether they
are or not, however, we need and deserve a safe way to discharge them.
Symbolic
baneful actions are also cathartic actions. They drain and clear our poisonous
feelings and allow our own emotional healing to begin. If we deny ourselves
this outlet, what happens to the grief and pain and rage?
If
projection is bad for us, introjection is even worse. Unreleased bad feelings
are a major source of stress. In a very real sense, stress cripples and kills.
Ulcers, strokes, heart attacks and more are all heavily stress-related. A
simple refusal to engage in baneful magic could easily amount to punishing a
victim by adding serious illness to the original harm.
I
am part of the All. “An it harm none” is about me too. Release of my feelings
is my right.
At
first it seems like an insoluble paradox. But the same understanding of magic
that forbids projection of our bad feelings can open a safe channel for those
feelings. Here’s one possible form:
Preparation:
1) Understanding
Think
about the Alcoholics Anonymous prayer. “Grant me the serenity to accept the things
I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can change, and the wisdom
to know the difference.” People of any religion can recognize the wisdom in
those words. This ritual is intended to ease emotional pressure. I believe that
is a step towards granting all three of those things to us.
If
your hurt is ongoing, you must take steps to stop it – leave the abusive
relationship, begin searching for a new job, begin organizing politically to
stop your oppression. What good this Circle does you will be temporary at best
if you are not acting on both the magical and material planes to change the
things you can change.
But
some of our pain comes from old, old injuries. And some of our feelings are not
based on fact at all. The source of those hurts cannot be changed, but the pain
can be. This particular working is to release any bad feelings, not to judge
them.
Don’t
worry about justice. You may be mistaken about who has hurt you, but nobody
will be hurt by what we do here. All energy will be contained within the
Circle. The object of this working is healing, not justice. You deserve this
healing simply because you hurt, and even if you are mistaken.
Prevention
and healing are human tasks; to do them is to change the things we can change.
Justice - the evening of karmic balances - is the business of the Gods, and may
take place across a span of many lifetimes. Karmic balance is a thing we cannot
change.
2) Set Up
You have some decisions to make. The first one is
whether you will work alone or ask one or more trusted friends to witness and
facilitate your working. Some of us can only let our feelings go in strict
privacy. For others, the presence of people who will make sure we don’t hurt
our homes or ourselves removes a source of inhibition. And sometimes simply
being heard is part of the release process.
Next, exactly what kind of symbolic action will
release your feelings? Will kicking a throw pillow suffice, or do you need to
actually make a poppet? Or just screaming may be enough. If you want to work
with a physical symbol, prepare it in advance, and be sure not to use anything
you will want to keep after the rite or ever use again.
Figure
out whether you can either cast a Circle to include your bathroom, or leave a
cast Circle for a period of time. This will depend on your particular training.
If possible, have a warm scented tub waiting for you. If not, a basin of warm
scented water and a washcloth within easy reach just outside of your Circle
will suffice. Also, a ritual meal should be prepared and waiting outside of
Circle, and this should include something green and growing - I favor sprouts -
and something sweet.
Procedure:
1) Waning moon
is a good time for this Circle, and the Dark of the Moon is even better. Cast
the Circle and invoke the Watchers in your usual manner. Call on the Crone, on
She who weeds and prunes and disposes of the obstructive and unnecessary.
2) Just inside
the Circle, like the membrane in an eggshell, cast a grounding shield. One
possible image for this shield would be a black absorptive chain link fence,
supported at regular intervals by fence posts that are lightning rods. Whatever
happens within this space will be contained and grounded.
3) Make clear to
yourself what wound you seek to drain. Say it out loud, even if you are alone.
Recall what happened to you in detail and let the feelings grow strong.
4) Now, let go
of your feelings. Do whatever will help you release what is in you. Beat on a
pillow or rip up a doll. Scream till you cry. Don’t stop till you are emptied.
Then fling the thing you used as a symbol out of your Circle.
5) When you are
sure you are all done, all drained, contract the shield into a tight ball in
the center of the Circle. As it contracts, it will gather all the negative
energy from the Circle. Ground it. Affirm that you are sending this energy to
the fire at the heart of the Earth - to Jarnsaxe or to Pele - to be purified in
that blast furnace and cycled to wherever strong energy is needed. Know that
what you now let go is gone. Affirm this out loud.
6) Wash or bathe
in a ritual manner, feeling the last traces of your bad feelings dissolve away.
If others are present, allow them to wash and serve you.
7) Rest a few
minutes. Feel the peace of emptiness.
8) Then invoke
the Maiden’s energy for new beginnings. Have your ritual feast, and otherwise
indulge your senses. Gentle and joyful music would be effective, and you may
want to switch to sweeter smelling incense. This is a time to dream dreams and
plan plans. You have removed an energy drain from your life, now you will be
able to...?
9) Thank and
dismiss whatever Beings you have called on, throughout the whole ritual. Close
your Circle as usual. Do not do any other kinds of working or worship within
this particular Circle.
Follow Through:
The
final part of any effective magical working is “acting in accordance” on the
material plane. By doing this, we give the magic a channel through which to
manifest. For this working, there are three forms of follow through, and all
are important.
1) Remember that
painful feelings are partly habitual. Acting in accordance with magic to banish
such feelings requires you to stop feeding the habit. Don’t talk about the pain
with anybody until at least the second full moon after the working. This gives
the habit a chance to fade out. As much as you can, eliminate the topic from
your internal dialogue as well. When you notice yourself dwelling on the old
pain, gently and firmly change the subject.
Thinking
about action to change your life in the here and now is perfectly OK. The
problem is reiteration of old feelings of frustration and helplessness that
actually impede change.
2) If the
hurtful situation is current and ongoing, continue with any steps you were
taking to change the things you can change. In fact, you will probably find you
have more energy than you did before to devote to your projects.
3) Be sure to
use some of your newly freed emotional energy to reward yourself. Take time for
friendship, love, and pleasure. The object of the exercise is to clear space
for the enjoyment of life, so start right now.
Judy
Harrow
HPs,
Proteus Coven
